Hell News: Satan looks to BDSM community for new torture ideas

The share price of a company that makes ball gags skyrocketed on the back of reports that Satan has looked into BDSM for torture tips.

The share price of a company that makes ball gags skyrocketed on the back of reports that Satan has looked into BDSM for torture tips.

‘Satan has been torturing souls for thousands of years now,’ an anonymous Hell employee told our reporter. ‘Naturally, ideas are running a bit thin.’

On a trip to Earth, Mister Satan reportedly visited a multitude of doms, sex shops, and prisons on a fact-finding trip to supplement a thinning catalogue of torture techniques.

‘He’s nothing but a creative perfectionist,’ an incubus by the name of Theodore Winthrop-Chesterton told us. ‘Satan is always striving to be known for his ingenuity.’

An eyewitness is reported to have seen several large crates marked ‘Octopus’ being delivered into the portal to Hell. An imp confirmed that the last leg of Mister Satan’s BDSM trip was to Japan.